June 19, 2009

Mostly thoughts for myself

I think it's been while since I just shared a thought without pictures. I was commenting on someones blog realizing that what I was saying was preachy so now I am going to preach for myself. 

I admire people that make decisions. I really dislike people that take forever to just pick what meal they want (Jack does this bad, but I actually love him, dislike waiting) I especially admire people that make them and then admit that's what they want to do. 

A friend of mine once talked to me about deciding something, and as long as you stick to it whether you are confident or not, that is the way to make a decision. Having faith in yourself and not justifying your actions for others is the way to go. 

It's said that when you dislike something about someone else, chances are that is something that you hate about yourself. I think that about this decision making thing. I can do better. 

I think in the last year, I have made the best decisions. I think what made them good is, I decided and I stuck by myself for them. Many times I was tempted to go back because I enjoyed my life. But that is when things don't change, and clearly I can see that my life is better. I don't ever think where I am now is where I thought I would be a year ago. I mean I didn't even want to talk to Jack, thought I was going to be with someone else. I figured I would stay in Provo, happy working in my favorite job at the middle school in Special Ed. Really, my life wasn't all that bad before. But I wasn't progressing. 

I think taking my leap of faith with something different made my life MUCH better! While I am somewhere different, at least I feel like I am learning to swim instead of still dog paddling. This is literal  because for the first time in years I swam under water without plugging my nose because I decided it was best to progress with my swimming. Really, standing around has gotten old. 

I did it because I jumped, I changed my direction, left my comfort zone, quit making excuses. 

Now to muster the bravery to keep it up, more jumping. Maybe tomorrow I will dive in the water. Thanks Lorena 

6 comments:

Sara and Justin said...
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Sara and Justin said...

You are amazing, Amanda. And I seriously, seriously admire your sticking by your decisions, even when it was hard. You did do it for you, and you made the best decision ever. I just remember how we all felt when we were walking into your sealing. Such a cool feeling! And I agree with you that taking that leap of faith (and it often is a leap because it's easy to be complacent and not progress), is soo worth it once you do it. That's our purpose here on earth, right?

Thanks for this post, I needed it. I will talk to you when I get back from Colorado! You'll be in Charlotte by then! yay! Love ya, roomie!

Whitney said...

you def made the right decision, and like sara said, it was felt in the temple. You're just in transition mode now which is always full of its ups and downs-getting used to all the new situations etc. + you're going thru this transition far away from your friends-you're amazing! and I'm so proud of you! I can't wait til the fall when we can visit each other etc.
luv ya
p.s. never forget-you're still the best eat-cake-like-a-turtle....er I know ;)

Cannon said...

I was going to post a comment but then I couldn't decide if that's what I wanted to do. What to do... what to do... Shoot! My laundry needs folding down in the laundry room! I better scat! :)

Unknown said...

Oh Amanda. I just read this post, and you are the coolest. Thank you for your wonderful words :)

Lillian said...

Amanda... thank you so much for that. Definitely something I've been thinking about a lot lately, and I think you're dead-on about it. Way to make those decisions :)

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