I admire people that make decisions. I really dislike people that take forever to just pick what meal they want (Jack does this bad, but I actually love him, dislike waiting) I especially admire people that make them and then admit that's what they want to do.
A friend of mine once talked to me about deciding something, and as long as you stick to it whether you are confident or not, that is the way to make a decision. Having faith in yourself and not justifying your actions for others is the way to go.
It's said that when you dislike something about someone else, chances are that is something that you hate about yourself. I think that about this decision making thing. I can do better.
I think in the last year, I have made the best decisions. I think what made them good is, I decided and I stuck by myself for them. Many times I was tempted to go back because I enjoyed my life. But that is when things don't change, and clearly I can see that my life is better. I don't ever think where I am now is where I thought I would be a year ago. I mean I didn't even want to talk to Jack, thought I was going to be with someone else. I figured I would stay in Provo, happy working in my favorite job at the middle school in Special Ed. Really, my life wasn't all that bad before. But I wasn't progressing.
I think taking my leap of faith with something different made my life MUCH better! While I am somewhere different, at least I feel like I am learning to swim instead of still dog paddling. This is literal because for the first time in years I swam under water without plugging my nose because I decided it was best to progress with my swimming. Really, standing around has gotten old.
I did it because I jumped, I changed my direction, left my comfort zone, quit making excuses.
Now to muster the bravery to keep it up, more jumping. Maybe tomorrow I will dive in the water. Thanks Lorena
