Lately at work I have had only boys stay after school. I am not sure what that means, but we went from having maybe 3 or 4 kids stay for after school, to averaging 10. All this week it has only been boys. I just noticed this yesterday. They of course are the same kids, the ones that I track, so they are all failing a class in one way or another.
Today I had a kid who is named after a country come in and he worked on his science something. He was typing it up and he kept asking me for my email address, but he was confused because he thought that an email address was actually where I lived.
I had to keep on one kid every health question he was doing because if I wasn't to say "ok, now look up friends" he would stand up and walk around and touch, move and bother anything within reach.
One was working on his math, and he told me that I suck at it.
One had punched his locker right after school and was having a hard time writing because his hand was completely swollen and black and blue.
One was looking at elementary pictures of himself.
One was actually kicking trash at his Algebra and hardly looked up from his work. Given I had to keep telling him to turn down his ipod because I could hear it, and we all know what kind of music kids listen to right now.
One came in and was really happy to see me. Since he was sent from a different teacher he was half an hour into it. So I instantly figured that he would start a break in the silence I had worked hard to maintain. BUT NO! I asked him what he was going to be working on, and to find a desk and HE DID! and for the first time I have been the strict teacher I have been waiting to be that gets respect, silence and kids that are producing homework.
February 21, 2008
February 19, 2008
Boy Scouts!
I got to go home this weekend, which was so great. But the greater thing was the reason I went home. My only brother who is 15 had his Eagle Court of Honor and I of course wouldn't have missed that. Here are some pictures to commemorate the occasion.
The table of Deric's scout stuffs, my mom saved all kinds of things from cub scouts and boy scouts. I think we had the prize winning pine wood derby car. some sort of noise maker.
You could tell he was really enjoying every min. I think he was a little nervous too because he, for the first time ever, was a little testy when he would talk to you.
My mom really did earn that mother's pin. On this event alone she would have received her own Eagle. I think some of the first words out of her mouth when we got home were "so what about that palm you almost have, what else do we have to do."
Regan thought Heidi's shirt was immodest because she looked under her sweater and said "why are you wearing your bra," so they had to button up so nobody saw that.
Kendal, Luke and Nick doing the flag ceremony. I know I appreciated the fact that my family had part in this too. It was far more meaningful.
Regan had to check out my glasses. She couldn't believe that I didn't only wear them at night.
My uncle Jerry and aunt Karen and their Daughter Allyssa. I am not sure I spelled her name right now that I think about it...and my Grandma Lovette. This is the Perren side that I don't have many pictures of so I am excited that they came so I could have some.
This is the Monson family. They were in our ward in Burley and they were the best, most faithful hometeachers we ever had. And wouldn't you know, there they were-the best.
The Eagle's nest
Crazy faces
we don't have enough pictures like this
Please make special note of my yellow banana hair. It was bad and I will always be embarrassed about it. But not enough to not post it so everyone can laugh with me.
The table of Deric's scout stuffs, my mom saved all kinds of things from cub scouts and boy scouts. I think we had the prize winning pine wood derby car. some sort of noise maker.
You could tell he was really enjoying every min. I think he was a little nervous too because he, for the first time ever, was a little testy when he would talk to you.
My mom really did earn that mother's pin. On this event alone she would have received her own Eagle. I think some of the first words out of her mouth when we got home were "so what about that palm you almost have, what else do we have to do."
Regan thought Heidi's shirt was immodest because she looked under her sweater and said "why are you wearing your bra," so they had to button up so nobody saw that.
Kendal, Luke and Nick doing the flag ceremony. I know I appreciated the fact that my family had part in this too. It was far more meaningful.
Regan had to check out my glasses. She couldn't believe that I didn't only wear them at night.
My uncle Jerry and aunt Karen and their Daughter Allyssa. I am not sure I spelled her name right now that I think about it...and my Grandma Lovette. This is the Perren side that I don't have many pictures of so I am excited that they came so I could have some.
This is the Monson family. They were in our ward in Burley and they were the best, most faithful hometeachers we ever had. And wouldn't you know, there they were-the best.
The Eagle's nest
Crazy faces
we don't have enough pictures like this
Please make special note of my yellow banana hair. It was bad and I will always be embarrassed about it. But not enough to not post it so everyone can laugh with me.
February 10, 2008
Communication
Lately I have been thinking a lot about the way we can communicate with others and the world and how even with the chatting and texting and phones and emails and faxes and messages and voicemail, all I have to say it seems as though talking face to face is the hardest.
Maybe it's because expressing ourselves in front of others is intimidating. Maybe we prefer to be passive aggressive and leave notes and texts so we don't have to front our worst fear of actually talking to each other.
I have a hard time letting people know how I really feel, especially in the moment. However, I also find that every once in a while, I have an issue with it and I can't help the tone of my voice or the comment that I make. This happened to me just the other day. Maybe it was because I was already stressed about recent events, but my tone of voice really ratted me out in the way I felt. And even though the other person got that I was upset, I still am bound by that aforementioned fear of having to confront the way I actually feel and I feel like I shouldn't have let that part of myself go, I should have been stronger.
I want to be the one that can be independent, or that is so strong words and actions can't break down the wall. Sometimes the knowledge that everything will work out just isn't enough, I still let little things get to me. I had to make a list of things that have been bothering me. Some of these were the way I have been treated lately, or the situations I may be dealing with. What bothers me the most about this list that I made was, there isn't any quick fix to any of them. So I have resolved to just pray for more patience, understanding and perseverance. Perhaps having a stronger store of these three things will make it easier to communicate and I can feel like I have control over my life again.
Maybe it's because expressing ourselves in front of others is intimidating. Maybe we prefer to be passive aggressive and leave notes and texts so we don't have to front our worst fear of actually talking to each other.
I have a hard time letting people know how I really feel, especially in the moment. However, I also find that every once in a while, I have an issue with it and I can't help the tone of my voice or the comment that I make. This happened to me just the other day. Maybe it was because I was already stressed about recent events, but my tone of voice really ratted me out in the way I felt. And even though the other person got that I was upset, I still am bound by that aforementioned fear of having to confront the way I actually feel and I feel like I shouldn't have let that part of myself go, I should have been stronger.
I want to be the one that can be independent, or that is so strong words and actions can't break down the wall. Sometimes the knowledge that everything will work out just isn't enough, I still let little things get to me. I had to make a list of things that have been bothering me. Some of these were the way I have been treated lately, or the situations I may be dealing with. What bothers me the most about this list that I made was, there isn't any quick fix to any of them. So I have resolved to just pray for more patience, understanding and perseverance. Perhaps having a stronger store of these three things will make it easier to communicate and I can feel like I have control over my life again.
February 02, 2008
Feb. 2nd?
I worked really hard on this a while ago and it never worked...so pretend that this happened yesterday, or that you have suddenly been sucked back through time.
Last night Brady's ward had a talent show. I got to attend, and yes it was a privilege. There were several humorous moments however, of all of them-this one takes the cake. A couple of weeks ago, Brady decided he was going to yodel- at least that is what he said happened. The performance was rather good, especially since he got the loudest cheer of the night. I got it all on film, it's like 3 mind but make sure to watch until the end because it gets a little crazy.
I also was enlightened last night. Actually it's been a long process of being enlightened. I have learned a lot about myself, and what the Lord has in store for me in the last year or so. Good thing I am lucky to know the truth about the gospel and that the Lord I am blesses me every day. Anyway, last night I actually got to pin point how I felt. It's like a crazy impulse, the need to feel organized. Like the cleaning that I sometimes do when I need to clear my thoughts. I know it's crazy but I think when I am cleaning crap I can relate it to cleaning crap in my mind-then I feel better.
Here are some other things that are like cleaning crap in your mind
blowing your nose
using index cards or post-it notes
buying manila file folders
writing a letter to whitney
separating pictures into their appropriate computer files
making your bed
doing your laundry
putting your clothes in your closet short sleeved, 3/4 sleeved, long sleeved, sweaters, skirts
re-doing the dry erase calendar
making excel lists-thanks for those formulas
organizing using labels
sleeping on it
Last night Brady's ward had a talent show. I got to attend, and yes it was a privilege. There were several humorous moments however, of all of them-this one takes the cake. A couple of weeks ago, Brady decided he was going to yodel- at least that is what he said happened. The performance was rather good, especially since he got the loudest cheer of the night. I got it all on film, it's like 3 mind but make sure to watch until the end because it gets a little crazy.
I also was enlightened last night. Actually it's been a long process of being enlightened. I have learned a lot about myself, and what the Lord has in store for me in the last year or so. Good thing I am lucky to know the truth about the gospel and that the Lord I am blesses me every day. Anyway, last night I actually got to pin point how I felt. It's like a crazy impulse, the need to feel organized. Like the cleaning that I sometimes do when I need to clear my thoughts. I know it's crazy but I think when I am cleaning crap I can relate it to cleaning crap in my mind-then I feel better.
Here are some other things that are like cleaning crap in your mind
blowing your nose
using index cards or post-it notes
buying manila file folders
writing a letter to whitney
separating pictures into their appropriate computer files
making your bed
doing your laundry
putting your clothes in your closet short sleeved, 3/4 sleeved, long sleeved, sweaters, skirts
re-doing the dry erase calendar
making excel lists-thanks for those formulas
organizing using labels
sleeping on it
January 27, 2008
DANCING!
On saturday a group of us decided to go to Salt Lake for contra dancing. This was exceptionally exciting because most of us didn't know what it was we were getting ourselves into. We spent forever trying to call other people to come with us to have even numbers. Our efforts were thwarted and we still went with odd numbers. In the end it didn't matter because the people we went with were so friendly and amazing. It was held at a Unitarian Church and most of the people there were older, except for the 3 little kids there, and even they were amazing!
most of the group, Dan, Nathan, Chelsea, Cannon, Lora, Lillian and Kaley
Not really knowing what was supposed to be going on, a lot of the time people would push us where to go, which was fine, at least for me.
I am getting so much hight right here! Kasey was throwing me all over the place!
most of the group, Dan, Nathan, Chelsea, Cannon, Lora, Lillian and Kaley
Not really knowing what was supposed to be going on, a lot of the time people would push us where to go, which was fine, at least for me.
I am getting so much hight right here! Kasey was throwing me all over the place!
January 26, 2008
Mandy and Eric Have A Baby!
Here is a tribute to my evening spent with the new Nathan Eric Dow! he was born January 25 at 3:13 in the morning at 8 lbs. 1 oz. He really is one of the cutest babies on earth!
Here is Ashley kicking it with her Dr. Pepper
Of course the most important people of the day, Mandy and Baby Nathan!
The nurses like to make a cute little name tag for each of the babies for their little boxes
Oh my goodness look at that cute face and all that hair, he is so little!
me and Nathan bonding. He was so little and so soft!
This picture makes me want to be asleep, he looks so peaceful
The Doctor said that before Nathan was born he must have sucked on his toe and made a blister that popped and then he came out with a scratch on his toe. We have a toe sucker!
Mommy being checked on, everything was ok no worries
Me and Lauren having a picture session
This was the first time that Nathan was opening his eyes for me he is so adorable
I am so excited that he is finally here. I felt bad because while I was there I kept sniffling a little, but it wasn't because I am sick, it's because I almost cried several times. I think that was the first time that I realized what a miracle babies are. Every other time, they have all been family, and I never really went to the hospital. Don't get me wrong I have loved everyone of them. But really, just a little while ago, this little guy was still in the presence of our Heavenly Father. What an amazing responsibility to get to raise a child of God, especially one as cute as Nathan. I guess it made me really put into perspective the importance of my divine role of being a mother some day. I really am looking forward to that time, someday. I can't be more excited for Nathan!
I am so excited that he is finally here. I felt bad because while I was there I kept sniffling a little, but it wasn't because I am sick, it's because I almost cried several times. I think that was the first time that I realized what a miracle babies are. Every other time, they have all been family, and I never really went to the hospital. Don't get me wrong I have loved everyone of them. But really, just a little while ago, this little guy was still in the presence of our Heavenly Father. What an amazing responsibility to get to raise a child of God, especially one as cute as Nathan. I guess it made me really put into perspective the importance of my divine role of being a mother some day. I really am looking forward to that time, someday. I can't be more excited for Nathan!
Being Racist
Clark and I were bored so we made a racial cake. In an effort to not be racist. one black and one white and then we cut shapes from one and inserted them in the other.
Don't laugh this is very artistic. These cakes represent the union of people and late night activities planed at the last min.
We then frosted the cakes white on black and black on white. They were looking completely uneatable.
However in the end I feel as though we got the point. We make look different on the outside, but when it come down to eating each other, as long as we mix it up it should taste fine.
January 22, 2008
January 21, 2008
Fast internet = cooler things to blog about
We were playing a game called lawyer, I think. This is all at FHE by the way. The person in the middle (katherine) is going around asking questions and to whomever she is asking the question to(in this case it is John Bay), the person to their left (Boomer) is their lawyer and has to answer the question. The answer doesn't have to be true, it just has to make sense.
Pay attention to Boomer and how he is looking at John first and then snaps his attention to Kathrine.
Kathrine asks what her middle name is
Boomer says brick
I only add this just in case there is any confusion.
January 15, 2008
So things are fine?
Things are fine. I am going to describe how fine they are using synonyms from the thesaurus.
I have I accomplished several things this last week that I never thought I would, deciding not to go to school being one of them.
I think my patience with my students has been admirable lately.
When the bridesmaid dress is done and finished and all of those dang pleats and darts are sewn, I think I will look rather attractive.
I was told that I looked beautiful on saturday and it made my day
I saw Jenilyn with a gingerbread house that was supposed to be the capital building
I also have made the choice to let the Lord guide me, and to quit fighting for what I think is right when I know He has a better plan.
I have had the most enjoyable time hanging out over at F6 lately. I was exceptionally concerned that I wouldn't fit in and be doomed to buy all new expensive friends. But it has been great.
Things really are good/fine, however, one thing is unsatisfactory (the antonym for fine). I have been trying to be very forward with the way I feel about things. Mostly because I have been stressed lately and I want to get things off my chest. I have been doing rather well. But you know that feeling you have when something bothers you and your heart beats harder and it's almost like your ears take momentary hold of your brain as you struggle to keep yourself from saying something rash? This could be one of a few reasons. You are acting on impulse, you have just had soap squirted in your eyes, it might hurt someone's feelings, it might risk your own feelings, it might risk the present or the future of your situation.
If you can't tell, I have something to say, this is my effort to be forward, so I can't get stressed about keeping it in. This in turn leads to the fact that my heart and my mind don't want to work together. What is it you ask that bothers me so?
I can't decide whether or not I am the kind of person that can accept unpainted toenails, and soon mine will be uncovered. Do I hold on hoping that they like being painted or can I let them be free? Naked, open to the world once more to find a new path.
Yeah for analogies
I have I accomplished several things this last week that I never thought I would, deciding not to go to school being one of them.
I think my patience with my students has been admirable lately.
When the bridesmaid dress is done and finished and all of those dang pleats and darts are sewn, I think I will look rather attractive.
I was told that I looked beautiful on saturday and it made my day
I saw Jenilyn with a gingerbread house that was supposed to be the capital building
I also have made the choice to let the Lord guide me, and to quit fighting for what I think is right when I know He has a better plan.
I have had the most enjoyable time hanging out over at F6 lately. I was exceptionally concerned that I wouldn't fit in and be doomed to buy all new expensive friends. But it has been great.
Things really are good/fine, however, one thing is unsatisfactory (the antonym for fine). I have been trying to be very forward with the way I feel about things. Mostly because I have been stressed lately and I want to get things off my chest. I have been doing rather well. But you know that feeling you have when something bothers you and your heart beats harder and it's almost like your ears take momentary hold of your brain as you struggle to keep yourself from saying something rash? This could be one of a few reasons. You are acting on impulse, you have just had soap squirted in your eyes, it might hurt someone's feelings, it might risk your own feelings, it might risk the present or the future of your situation.
If you can't tell, I have something to say, this is my effort to be forward, so I can't get stressed about keeping it in. This in turn leads to the fact that my heart and my mind don't want to work together. What is it you ask that bothers me so?
I can't decide whether or not I am the kind of person that can accept unpainted toenails, and soon mine will be uncovered. Do I hold on hoping that they like being painted or can I let them be free? Naked, open to the world once more to find a new path.
December 30, 2007
One last good-bye
Well now that I am heading back in the morning I am going to share some of my favorite moments about Idaho this Christmas.
This is me, Emma and Kaylyn and the oldest play tee pee I know about. It was old when I was little. Being around my family is always my favorite.
This is Luke and Kendal after they had just come in from sledding. They were all sweaty. We had this conversation about what they wanted to be when they grow up. They said they were too tired to really thing about it. They were shocked when they found out that I wasn't getting married any time soon and that I still chose to be in school.
This is a table shot at the single sister's stake thing that we sang at. It was an amazing brunch complete with journals for all and Heidi making faces at everyone.
Gavin got me and my family some tickets and we got to go to the BSU vs. BYU game. It was so fun, until we lost. It was a sad lose because BSU fans are loud and mean. I am a BSU fan because well lets face it I thought about going there and if you are from around here you have to pick sides and I like Boise State. But I chose to be on BYU's side, as well as my family.
I think this may be my favorite thing. My parents gave themselves this new bathroom faucet for christmas. It is the coolest thing. Each of us keep finding ourselves walking into the bathroom just to turn it on.
It's been great to get away. I have had a chance to really focus my thoughts and think about my goals for the next semester. I have had some great opportunities to go on some fun dates. Tomorrow I am going out with this kid from England for new years and I am excited. Then when I get back I guess with another boy named Cole. It's good to know that I have other opportunities to meet people in a fun environment.
I won't lie though my heart is torn and it's still really hard to go out with other people. I guess I am looking for that feeling of contentment. The one that comes when I feel like I can be myself and do goofy things, or have silly opinions with someone. So I can mess around. It's fun to think that I could be with someone that would sing Disney songs in the car with me. or watch cartoons. I really want to feel like if I rolled around in the mud, my condition would be endearing instead of revolting. Some of the guys I have been around lately didn't give me that impression. I have really only felt that once with anybody, the sad thing is I don't think they ever knew that. I know that I took him for granted.
My family must be feeling like I am going to following in my unmarried uncle's footsteps. Even my dad said today that I should throw out the 500 mile rule and just find somebody. It's all a joke really but we did have to talk about "my plan" today so this has been fresh on my mind. It's nice to get it out where it can all make sense.
This is me, Emma and Kaylyn and the oldest play tee pee I know about. It was old when I was little. Being around my family is always my favorite.
This is Luke and Kendal after they had just come in from sledding. They were all sweaty. We had this conversation about what they wanted to be when they grow up. They said they were too tired to really thing about it. They were shocked when they found out that I wasn't getting married any time soon and that I still chose to be in school.
This is a table shot at the single sister's stake thing that we sang at. It was an amazing brunch complete with journals for all and Heidi making faces at everyone.
Gavin got me and my family some tickets and we got to go to the BSU vs. BYU game. It was so fun, until we lost. It was a sad lose because BSU fans are loud and mean. I am a BSU fan because well lets face it I thought about going there and if you are from around here you have to pick sides and I like Boise State. But I chose to be on BYU's side, as well as my family.
I think this may be my favorite thing. My parents gave themselves this new bathroom faucet for christmas. It is the coolest thing. Each of us keep finding ourselves walking into the bathroom just to turn it on.
It's been great to get away. I have had a chance to really focus my thoughts and think about my goals for the next semester. I have had some great opportunities to go on some fun dates. Tomorrow I am going out with this kid from England for new years and I am excited. Then when I get back I guess with another boy named Cole. It's good to know that I have other opportunities to meet people in a fun environment.
I won't lie though my heart is torn and it's still really hard to go out with other people. I guess I am looking for that feeling of contentment. The one that comes when I feel like I can be myself and do goofy things, or have silly opinions with someone. So I can mess around. It's fun to think that I could be with someone that would sing Disney songs in the car with me. or watch cartoons. I really want to feel like if I rolled around in the mud, my condition would be endearing instead of revolting. Some of the guys I have been around lately didn't give me that impression. I have really only felt that once with anybody, the sad thing is I don't think they ever knew that. I know that I took him for granted.
My family must be feeling like I am going to following in my unmarried uncle's footsteps. Even my dad said today that I should throw out the 500 mile rule and just find somebody. It's all a joke really but we did have to talk about "my plan" today so this has been fresh on my mind. It's nice to get it out where it can all make sense.
December 27, 2007
It's hard when you want something so badly that in your mind you've probably made it up. I wish things were different most days. It's amazing the amount of things I wish for.
I wish I was done with school
I wish I had a million dollars
I wish I wasn't so cold toward people I still am not used to
I wish I had gone farther in the beauty pageant-this was unexpected
I wish there was more parking
I wish it wasn't so cold
I wish my dog didn't smell so bad
I wish I had instantly cleaning skin so I wouldn't have to shower, I would always be fresh
I wish I could trust more
I wish I were in love with Clark Kent
Gosh why can't being in love be different.
I wish I was done with school
I wish I had a million dollars
I wish I wasn't so cold toward people I still am not used to
I wish I had gone farther in the beauty pageant-this was unexpected
I wish there was more parking
I wish it wasn't so cold
I wish my dog didn't smell so bad
I wish I had instantly cleaning skin so I wouldn't have to shower, I would always be fresh
I wish I could trust more
I wish I were in love with Clark Kent
Gosh why can't being in love be different.
December 25, 2007
Christmas!
Well I am a lucky person. I got to give a Christmas to someone else, and I still got one myself. I had a hard time today because I felt like everything I got was a little extra-more than I deserve. Until I got something I wasn't expecting, and then it wasn't good enough. I made a bit of a stink really, and then I felt horrible for being...so petty. I still am kind of beating myself up over it, but
I will eventually get over it.
I also got to spend some time with my family thus far which has been pretty fun. Both sides actually, we went sledding with my dad's side and then we had dinner with my mom's. So fun. Here is a small sampling.
These three little guys think they are so cute. The one in the green coat Tanner wants 5 fridges, 200 pieces of candy, 18 water bottles and a laptop. He's like 4.
This is Jared's artistic design, "Life through an inner tube"
This is what I thought Jared wanted me to take a picture of as "life through an inner tube"
This is me and my Cousin Sammantha. A fun story about her name is my parents almost named me that, and then they didn't.
Speaking of names...I can't believe I never thought of this but I vow to name one of my children after myself and her name will be Amanda Lynn
.....I don't know why that isn't my name.
I will eventually get over it.
I also got to spend some time with my family thus far which has been pretty fun. Both sides actually, we went sledding with my dad's side and then we had dinner with my mom's. So fun. Here is a small sampling.
These three little guys think they are so cute. The one in the green coat Tanner wants 5 fridges, 200 pieces of candy, 18 water bottles and a laptop. He's like 4.
This is Jared's artistic design, "Life through an inner tube"
This is what I thought Jared wanted me to take a picture of as "life through an inner tube"
This is me and my Cousin Sammantha. A fun story about her name is my parents almost named me that, and then they didn't.
Speaking of names...I can't believe I never thought of this but I vow to name one of my children after myself and her name will be Amanda Lynn
.....I don't know why that isn't my name.
December 11, 2007
Be Honest
This is a true story, that I will probably use later on in some talk. Today my Math class sat down with our tests we took last week and self corrected them as the teacher gave the answer out loud. In the past he has always allowed us to take them home later and fix them for half credit. This time however because the final is next week, he had to let us take them without recording how many we actually had missed with the understanding that we obey the honor code and shouldn't have to think we were going to cheat.
Later in the period he acted as though we had 15 min left when it was really 45 min.
Nobody said a word.
He called us on it, he was testing us to see if we were really honest.
WE SUCK
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